The Big Bang Theory

Originally I was taking a break from posting until those daggone writers came back and there were some new episodes of one of my new favorite shows. But, I figured, that with a readership of 5 or so, my contribution to the protest was pretty minimal. It was either that or not shower. And well, after 12 hours, the better half ended that one.

So, back to my rants about whatever.

You know the new Target ads that are on TV? The ones featuring a Beatles song, and the lyrics; "I don't know why you say goodbuy, I say hello." (The specific words they intend are clarified later in their ad, with big red words of "goodbuy" and "hello"

HOW DOES THIS IDIOT STILL HAVE A JOB?????!?!!!!?!?!?!11111/??!?!?! They're saying in that ad, that they welcome you to shop there. Ok, that's fine, I'd hope any retailer would express that interest, but excuse me while I dissect the other half of that line. They say "I don't know why you say goodbuy." I personally agree. I don't know how Target stays in business. They sell the same general stuff that you can find at most big box retailers. They have some exclusive product lines, and their own store brand, like many others. They also have prices considerably higher than the big boxes like Meijer and Wally World. I find that a lot of their personal care products are closer to CVS/Walgreens/WrongRite-Aid than they are to the discount retailers we've grown close to, and love and hate at the same time. (I mean really, is there any reason that Meijer can't have anything on their shelves on a Saturday, and have you ever been in a clean wally world?).

SO, anyway, back to Target. I don't know why you say goodbuy. I don't know why you like our prices. But if you're stupid and you like our prices, we say hello. Otherwise. We're not targeting you with our ads. We're after stupid money.

And the Beatles? What's up with that? Who in their right mind sold the rights to use Hello Goodbye to Target??!!?! Oh yeah, Sony & Michael Jackson own them. Sony, the company that invents crummy things which there are already outstanding products on the market, products function better and offer more features than their crap, but lock you into using them in their proprietary products and a guy (and I use that term loosely) who gives Jesus Juice to minors, and now lives in the middle of the stinking desert.

Has anyone thought about how bright an idea it was for the skin-bleaching sensation once known as the Thriller, to move to the middle of the desert, in a country that would punish pedophiles with death. Then hold the trial. The guy who's so sensitive to sun and pollutants, moved to the middle of the desert, and gets major trade winds blowing God only knows what in. Smart dude.

This weekend we're going rock-and-bowling. It's gonna be so rad. I'm gonna wear neon colors. Just don't tell my wife.

For those who've never met them, let me introduce one of the popular, and really good, Christian bands, Sanctus Real. I don't work for them, and have never done promo work for them. I would, if it got me into a concert for free. Simply for 1 song. One song. This song moves me. I'm normally one who likes songs for the beats, the thumps, the melody that makes me want to dance, even though I'd make Elaine look like a pro. But this song gets me. With the words, and the power those words will carry when performed live.

Here's the song. Pardon the poor quality, but I want to keep my music legit on here. So here's a youtube link to the music video as performed on the Logan Show.



If you can't understand it, here are the lyrics as well:

Sanctus Real - We Need Each Other

I think I caught a glimpse of
Life without friends
Bitter, empty, hollow, dark and lonely
We never meant to hurt each other
So Can't we trust again
And take it as a chance
To keep on growing

I don't know why it doesn't come easy
But I know that we could be happy
If we'd only learn to love

Oh oh we need each other
So what's the fighting for
Oh oh we need each other
Please don't close the door
Oh oh we need each other
Through all the highs and lows
Oh oh we need each other
Cuz no one's meant to be alone

Life revolves around the need
Of having someone
Causing every complicated feeling
Oh and I don't want to lose you
And there is nothing wrong with
Telling me what you need
To keep our love strong

It's just a part of being a family
Taking the good with the bad and the ugly
If we could only learn to love

Oh oh we need each other
So what's the fighting for
Oh oh we need each other
Please don't close the door
Oh oh we need each other
Through all the highs and lows
Oh oh we need each other
And I don't want to be alone

Oh Oh we need each other
Fathers Mothers
Oh oh we need each other
All your sisters and brothers
Oh oh we need each other
We need friends and lovers
Oh Oh we need each other

I need you
You need me
Cuz that's the way
It's meant to be
I need you
We need each other
I don't want to be alone

I need you
You need me
Cuz that's the way
It's got to be
I need you
We need each other
I don't want to be alone


Let me unpack that for you. Well, I'll unpack it for me. And you can experience it with me. Life, without friends. We're not meant to live it. We're meant to be social. And guess what's worse. Having friends that you break off contact with. Whether it's hateful words, laziness making work, or distance. This song hit me especially hard this week as I was facebooked by a good friend from HS, that out of the blue just found me. We hadn't talked since we were freshmen in college. 11 years ago. And I miss that friendship. I'm sure if he reads this, he's gonna think I'm really weird. And I am. But, friends are important, and I'm one of the guiltiest people about being lazy and not maintaining those friendships.

Second important point. Love. Love everyone. Love them well, love them unconditionally. I need to learn to love. Love others. Love my wife. Love myself. Love all the time. Love so much that I ooze love.

So, this Christmas season. In the hustle and bustle of shopping, mall parking lots, crowded stores, food preparation, airport security screening lines, rowdy children, snowball fights, remember. We need each other. We need each others love. Each others friendship. And many times, that's the best gift you could ever give someone. Who can you befriend this Christmas? Who can you befriend all over again? What friendships do you need to repair? I've got way too many to list, and far too many people that I have no way to contact anymore to begin to mend them. But I'm praying for them.

I found this story linked over at Drudgereport. It's written by a man internationally famous for letting you spin the wheel, and buy a vowel. Mr. Pat Sajak. He's one of my new heroes. He writes an article for his own website, PatSajak.com about celebrity endorsements, especially for politicians.

Pat says:
Putting those obvious benefits aside, the question remains: do these endorsements really translate into votes? Does anyone decide which candidate to choose based on the recommendation of a TV talk show host or a singer/actress? If any group of citizens is uniquely unqualified to tell someone else how to vote, it’s those of us who live in the sheltered, privileged arena of celebrityhood. It’s one thing to buy an ab machine because Chuck Norris recommends it (he’s in good shape, isn’t he?) or a grill because George Foreman’s name is on it (he’s a great guy, so it must be a great grill!), but the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me.


Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel. I'd like to buy an O. And I'd like to solve the puzzle, OIC what you did there. I agree with ya Pat, and in the words of one of my favorite rappers, John Reuben, from Follow Your Leader:

" On a pedestal you hear them ranting and raving
Proudly proclaiming what they know nothing about
I hear you talking loud but I will not allow
Tinsel Town to show me how to run my life
Sure you can sing and dance
But that don’t mean that you’re qualified to give America advice."

Who cares if Oprah, Kanye, Barbara Streisand, Tom Cruise, Jon Kitna, Sean Hannity, or any other over privileged celebrity with more publicity and opinions than common sense support any candidate? Shouldn't you vote who best represents you not the celebrity?

Pat continues:
I suppose anything that gets people engaged in the political process is a good thing, but the idea that a gold record, a top-ten TV show or an Oscar translates into some sort of political wisdom doesn’t make much sense to me. Trust me, one’s view of the world isn’t any clearer from the back seat of a limo.

Sadly enough, these people don't get engaged in the political process. A few celebrity worshippers show up on poll day to vote for their celebrity endorsed candidate. Even fewer Tinsel Town haters show up to vote for the candidates not endorsed by Hollywood. That's not engaging in the process. That's essentially selling your vote to the loudest celebrity endorsement.

Way to go Pat. Hopefully this gets picked up nationally.

One of my generation's childhood staples is out on DVD now. One of the greatest developmental shows, with some of the catchiest tunes. And it bears this warning on Volumes 1 and 2 of "Sesame Street: Old School"; “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” Yes that's right, one of my childhood favorites is rated Adults Only. No, it's not implicit mentions of puppets with hands up their butts, or some slick editing that confirms the wild speculation of message boards that Bert and Ernie really are lovers. It's that today's PC society and pansy, but lawsuit happy people, deem it inappropriate for their kids. I turned out ok, didn't I? Ok, don't answer that.

But come on people. What about that show is inappropriate???!?!?!?!?!!!! If anything, I find today's changes to Sesame Street inappropriate. Since Jim Henson passed away, Sesame Street has been finding itself pandering to the PBS donor crowd, much more than it ever did. Back in the day, people learned to deal with differences, attack racism, and even become good friends with people who can't afford anything but trash. Today, Sesame Street is a bilingually focused show that is Elmo's soap box for the latest liberal agenda talking points. Hey, there's nothing wrong with the bilingual focus, in fact, I encourage it. I speak English well, sometimes, and have passable enough Spanish to be able to communicate in the pharmacy with those who speak only Spanish. That show was based on diversity. Gordon helped my generation overcome racism. Mr. Hooper helped us deal with the loss of the older people in our lives that we cared about. And who can forget Grover, and his "Near.............Far." Now, we've got some crappy, annoyingly voiced, manic, red puppet, who has a larger merchandise market than Major League Baseball. And what in the HELL has happened to my Cookie Monster?



That's the Cookie Monster we know and love. But now, he's been reduced to singing that Cookies are a Sometime Food. This is a travesty I tell you, a sheer travesty.


So why is this DVD set labeled as AO? Well, when pressed about it, an executive producer indicated that "Monsterpiece Theater" was one of the offensive skits. You know the scene, Cookie Monster spoofing Masterpiece Theater. Smoking a pipe. Then eating it. The executive producer then stated "that modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether." They dropped it from the DVD because they couldn't handle it, and today's parents couldn't talk about that with their kids???!?!!?!!!!! What??!!! That's crap. Plain and simple crap. Yeah, Oscar is the same. They couldn't edit him out of history. But they did say they'd never be able to create a character like him today. Sure, Snuffleupagus was visible to Big Bird only. That prompted accusations of hallucinations, seeing things that aren't there. While to us kids, it was clear that it was just because Snuffleupagus left before the others got there. Yeah, a kid might ask his parent about why they don't believe him, think he's seeing things. But ok, aren't parents supposed to take an ACTIVE role in their kids development? Are we trying to avoid that? Observing what I have in society, I'd say yes. And that has me scared, and it should scare you.

So, Christy and I have been pretty sick the last week or so. And now, I'm feeling healthy. She's still got a ways to go, but I'm eager to get out of the house. So today, I'm going to Christmas shop. Not sure what I'm looking for, but when I see it, I'll know.

I do have to tell this story from work. One of the people I work with is, hmm, how shall we say this.... not smooth at all with words? Ok, here's the story. He was dining one night at Steak 'n' Shake, minding his own business. Next to him was a table of high school aged kids, I'm sure making him feel older than he is (mid 20's). All of the sudden, one of the guys at the table says loudly, to one of the girls, "You don't know where your ovaries are?" I don't care who you are, that's gonna catch your attention. So, he looked up, and over at them. The guy repeated it, to my coworker; "She doesn't know where her ovaries are!!!?!?!" So, my coworker, a fresh out of school, Pharm.D, asked her, if she wanted it explained. She said that she would, so he proceeded to use hand shapes to indicate the uterus, and then explained the position of the ovaries. I'm sure this girl was bright red with embarrasment. But, anways, that's how that night ends. A couple days later, he's shopping in Meijer and he sees the girl in the same aisle and they say hi to each other. She's there with her mom, and he's with his cart. Mom asks about him, and if he's a friend from school. She says no that they met at Steak 'n' Shake and he was involved in the conversation about where her ovaries were. So, my coworker blurts out, "Yeah, I'm the guy who showed your daughter where her ovaries are." He wasn't sure at the time why, but Mom and daughter instantly took off. A few minutes later, in frozen foods, he realized what he said, shrieked, and left a cart full of stuff in the aisle. He was too embarrassed to stay in the store.

And now that he's shared that story at work, he'll never live it down either.

So, last night, me and the Mrs. were watching "Talk Sex" with Sue, on the Oxygen Network. Why? I have no idea. We both are sick, and had taken cough syrups with codeine in them. There was no reason to still be awake. But there's something just absolutely hilarious about a 70 year old woman discussing sexual techniques, toys, and what not with callers and doing so with vivid enthusiasm and hand motions. So, while being amazed at the 500 commercials for Taboo Toys (an adult toy company), we both laughed at the commercials that usually followed. There was an advertisement for "The Bee Movie," and a few other family friendly things. But one, took the cake. After being hit over the head with the demand to check out the Taboo Toys website, Time Life comes on and proudly announces, "Shout to the Lord all the Earth let us sing..." It was a several minute long commercial for the Time Life series, Songs of Worship. We laughed at the irony of that commercial being shown during "Talk Sex." For a literal 5 minutes.

Ahh, what fun you can have at 1AM with TV and codeine.

OK, so here's my first post on my very own blog. Yeah, it's not very good. And pretty blah around here. But I'll finish these 14 books on CSS and whatnot here soon, and make my very own super-duper-snazzy custom blog. Until then, we'll leave you with this geekyness.

This blog finds its origins in my relating to the new show on CBS, "The Big Bang Theory." And no, Internet stalkers, I'm not the hot chick. Heck, I'm not even Darlene. I'd like to think that I'm closest in character to Leonard. I know what reality is, and I can learn to accept it, even though it may clash with the science rolling around in my mind. I can learn to he human, and not correct someone every time they misapply scientific principle or completely lie about something scientific. My wife will tell you that I'm more Sheldon though. This year, Sheldon went to a Halloween Party as the Doppler Effect, and expected everyone to get it. I'd like to think I'm not that bad, but when I sit in front of the TV and critique the lousy scientific process, or how that test couldn't even produce those results that implicated someone in a crime, I think I am.

So, this blog will (mostly) be about my scientific pontifications of television, news, radio, the Internet, people I come in contact with (well, I don't actually touch too many), and life. Mostly life. So sit back, get your Flash Focus trained eyes ready, and enjoy the ride.